Yeah I realllly should stop blogging about teachers. *cough*

Ahh. As I mentioned before, I'm really confused right now. Like a cup of mashed potato made from lettuce with a spoon spinning it round and round. I seriously don't know what I'm doing here. I'm just wondering, and wondering, planning to do this, then I don't.

I am aware I have homework to do but please, just let me procrastinate a while more.

I'm thoroughly bashed up with a fork in my head now. I feel so sleepy in class, its like there's sleeping gas sprayed around the class that only I can smell and have it worked its effects on. I don't think I'm that obsessed at all, I need advice. The guru ain't talking. LOL.

I seriously have to start working on my priorities. That don't include writing 'Geography' on a piece of paper, staring at it for 28 seconds and crushing it and practicing my basketball skills by improvising the bin as the hoop and the paper as the ball. Sigh, i really hate my life. I know i have a comfortable and good life, i know that. Its just that i don't like it. Almost everything isn't going right for me right now.Maybe not a lot of them, but at least those things that are always on my head are going wrong now. -Refer to drawing 2 posts ago-

The fact the Tottenham lost to Liverpool recently doesn't help the cause much you know. And my mum keeps rubbing it in going : "HUH? TOTTENHAM LOSE 2 -0 AH?" .
Sigh, Leeds on Saturday. Lose that one and my hopes and dreams are crushed. Not exactly but you get my point.

Maybe its just me aggravating the situation, maybe I aren't all that bad at all.
But life isn't exciting just sitting down everything good, not saying I don't want that. I lied, on the piece of paper given out to us asking us about ourselves. In a bid to describe myself, i wrote "Daring". I'm not. No where near. Probably 346miles away from daring. I can't be like Haolun and just going "Bring it on!" with everything that comes along my path. I'm a freagin loser.

Hey, what can I do? Nearly half of my posts in this blog talks about how I'm going to do this, that, life is awesome, life sucks, my aspirations, the girl on my mind. For once, I wish I didn't have a brain. I'd just be some dumbass going around doing stuff normal people wouldn't do. That'd make me stand out, right?

Maybe its just songs making me emotional, but... I really feel hopeless. Now that I think of it, only two things are going wrong for me now. Which are kind of obvious. 90% of the rest of my life are.. Okay, not outstanding but good enough. I don't understand which part of me is faulty, I'd get that part fixed desperately, seriously. I can't stand much longer.

Perhaps its my always say no do attitude. Probably should have made my New Year Resolution something better than being less lame. Man, the school week is ending. Sigh.

I have a really bad feeling, that my life story, the story I'm going to write in my autobiography in my final days. The title would be : "What if?". What if I did this, what if i did that, things would be entirely different. What if i was just a little more patient. What if i could just hold back my anger a little more? What if my globules would just be bigger and have more guts? I'm passing by too many missed opputunities. Its not as if I don't see them, its there and I see them alright. But, why can't I just? Just? Just know what to do when the time is right?

-Renald
Maybe not having someone to love would be better, for once.