Its time to prioritize, pronto.

Today, whilst walking to the bus stop with the guys I... felt lost. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, what I'd do. Who I loved.

I'm jealous, Benedict.

I'm angry too, at the amount of times you've abandoned us for her. But then I thought, I'd do the same thing, wouldn't I? I'd give up everything, everything. To be with you. Then the topic of education came up, I said my priority was my career, my studies. But, what about you?

Lets take the classic example. My friends, my family, and the person I love. Take one, the rest falls off a cliff. My tuition teacher posed this question to me. Without doubt, having face, I definitely said my family, my friends, then her. This is probably the second hardest question to answer, after the chicken and egg question.

Saving my family, its the right thing to do. I love my family, but that's not I want to do. I love my friends, my buddies. I'm not someone who backstabs anyone. But the person I love, she's special. She's everything. No one else can feel moody all day, and smile once and brighten up my life in an instant. Save you, its what I want to do.

Paleontology can wait. It ain't important. Its what I'm interested in, but I guess I'm better off watching documentaries on Discovery Channel.

Its hard, its really hard. I thought and thought and thought. I can't put my finger on an answer. I just thought I'd get through this before I study. Forgetting about you, one second, its impossible. It really is. I want to be the one, your only one.

So, what do I do now? I'm trying to do what's right, I'm not doing what I want. Justin, don't get me wrong. She's everything, she's my all. But sometimes maybe doing the right thing IS the right thing to do.

Bring it on, education.

-Renald